The Author's Biography

Because I have, with the able assistance of Robert Simanowitz, revised the book "Interesting Times" so that it is finally a book to be proud of, today, I revised the biography of my Author's Page on Amazon to fit with the importance of the revised book.

I post it here for those of you who do not frequent the Author's Pages of Amazon or my blog, That leaves only Russian bots, the lost and those of you with OCD who've discovered Blogger (you know who you are, respectively).

By the way (or BTW as the shortened form, if you're tech savvy. See how much shorter the abbreviation makes it! Amazing, isn't it? The future, I mean.), if you haven't visited my other page;, you're missing a real treat because I post all my crappy art there too. I mean, besides the little tidbits of literary shit like the bio. So go to the other blog and check it out. Ya, chickenshit! OK. Went to far there. Sorry!

So here is the new biography (really sorry about the thing above):

Jack Vander Beek was born in Kansas in the days of ringer washers, 5-digit telephone numbers, and noisy DDT fogger trucks that would cruise through the neighborhoods on warm summer evenings, trailing huge white clouds that smelled like kerosene and fresh plastic. 

At the age of 6, he was detained by authorities for throwing his baseball cap from the window of a school bus, but later released with only a warning. 

Jack spent his early years dreaming about what he would do when he was older and now that he's older, he dreams excessively about his childhood. He's on a first name basis with irony.

His youngest child, a girl, used to call him "Sarcastic Jack" until he heard about it and from then on she referred to him as "Vindictive Jack" and "Geezer". Children can be cruel.

It should go without saying that's he's retired now and a social recluse, but he does pretty well whatever he wants. Mostly writing and painting and writing about painting, and sitting on the deck with his dogs. 

Except for close family and his dogs, he has isolated himself from the rest of the world in order to better understand the nature of life and the human situation. Expect something on that soon.

Jack's immediate family also includes an aged and very pleasant one-eyed chicken named Mary.

End of Transmission


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