Dancing with a Broken Arm

Welcome once again to another episode of "Lorem Ipsum" and I'm Alan Waxfruit. Today we speak with Felton Letherboy, author of the exciting new TV series for HBO films, "The Lost Pillow Chronicles".

Waxfruit: Good day, Mr. Letherboy, how are you?

(This is how I picture the whole thing going, see?)

Letherboy: What an insightful question? I'm so glad that I agreed to be on your show Mr. Waxfruit. They told me you are the Illuminati of Interviewing.

Waxfruit: Thank you very much Mr. Letherboy, you're too kind! Now about this new HBO thing you've got going, I've heard that it's just really, well, something. How do you respond to that?

Letherboy: That is another really good question. I'm very happy that my new HBO series, "The Lost Pillow Chronicles" is being received with such, such, alacrity and, well, perspicacity.

Waxfruit: Wow, that's great. I'm afraid you have me at a disadvantage. I think I know what alacrity is, it's like happy joy right?

Letherboy: Yes, yes, happy joy, That's a good way to say it. But of course alacrity is a word representing a feeling, and feelings are very, well let's say, amorphous things. They exist only in the context, uh, of a given situation. Do you see?

Waxfruit: Yes, I see. You can't put a feeling in a box, in other words.

Letherboy: Very, very much so, very much so, Alan, if I may.

Waxfruit: Of course. Mr. Letherboy. But what about the other word you used. I wasn't sure about that one.

Letherboy: What word was that? And please call me Reg or Reggie.

Waxfruit: But I thought you're name was Felton.

Letherboy: It is. Of course, it is. Don't you think I know my own name? It's just that today, well lately, I prefer to be called Reggie. I'd also like to point out that in your last question, you used the wrong homonym, if I may? You meant "your" but you said "you're", wait the other way around. I can't be bothered correcting you're grammar. Can't we just get on with the interview?

Waxfruit: (flustered) Of course, Reggie, I mean, uh, (checks notes) no, I'm right, Reggie. Right. I apologize. You're, of course, correct. So anyway, in your response you said alacrity and something else. I don't have it right here.

Letherboy: Yes, yes, of course. I think I probably said, uh, alacrity and, uh, serendipity.

Waxfruit: I don't think that's the word, it was different than that. But, well, OK. So serendipity might capture the same feeling for you. Is that right?

Letherboy: Sure, sure. I'm very much happy at the serendipitous response to my new HBO series, "The Lost Pillow Chronicles".

(There's a lot more of this, but I think you see where I'm going. Next, they'll talk about Letherboy's torrid public affair with the young starlet, Hoohoo LaFrance and tempers will flare. A few sentences later, Waxfruit will accuse Letherboy of fronting for Boko Haram and paying them to ship rare hardwoods directly to Letherboy's builder for the flooring on the fabulous mansion he's having built directly atop the Hollywood sign. Letherboy does a spit-take on some water, in response to the question, then push Alan Waxfruit over backwards, calls him the M-word and storms off the set vowing to have Waxfruit's crew and family killed by his secret army. You probably read about it.)

I'll let you know more when I find out.

More later,


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