Sunday, Sunday...

Well it's going both ways today. I finally finished the picture frame for the odd-sized Trujillo painting, yesterday and it went OK. Ben came out and lent a hand which made it possible. I had a bit of a go round with the new stapler I bought for the frame corners. I got all twisted up and frustrated before I figured out that I was loading the staples in the wrong way. When I referred to the instructions, it worked out finally.

This morning I unclamped the frame and mounted the picture and attached the wire and hung it in my office. It looks good there.

This is the third day I struggled with reconciling and paying Sue's Alaska Airlines Visa card from Bank of America. I've tried everything but deleting the account and re-entering it. I'm not willing to go through that, so in the end I just sent off an electronic payment on the account. When I went into the account directly on-line it said that the re-issued card hadn't been activated and I suspect that's why it would download transactions on Quicken. When I pointed that out to Sue she didn't want me to activate the account again because it might flag the account, so I skipped it and when I went back I no longer got that choice, I gave up on the whole thing.

I've been more and more angry lately. I feel stress more sharply and I get frustrated more quickly. I seem angry all the time. I need to get centered again. I've got this routine that I want to keep up but that only increases my feelings of pressure. Like with the painting. I'd like to paint at least every other day, but other things get in the way and I feel like I'm failing when I don't do it. When I think of painting I suddenly panic because I can't think of a thing to paint. All ideas drain away and there's nothing left over to consider.

I need to find a more relaxed way to decide on things to paint. I think about it all night and still, I go in circles without coming up with a single good idea. My nights are no longer restful and I don't even know why.

I need to put blinders on and focus on ways of expressing myself. I need to write more. I need to watch TV and not work on ideas for pictures more. I just had a thought that might be a good thing for me to do today for the painting problem. I'll do an 8x10 picture and only put three colors on my palette. It will be another picture for Ashton., Maybe I'll do it in acrylics so it dries faster.

She wanted a picture with happy yellow colors so I should use yellow, white and red. I'll go over to the shop and get a water spray bottle for the palette while I work.

It's a plan.

More later,


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