2 Wheels off the rails

Kind of a bad morning. Not much sleep, back ache, warm etc. Up before 6 and had a yelling match with Ash, apologized but not before it messed up morning for Ash and Me and Ben. Probably the dogs too. Then rushed off to the OP deal. A little better than last week. Back still hurting. Took Tylenol this morning. May try Ibuprofen this afternoon. Will put ice back on for now.

Really scattered and discouraged about site. This is a pattern. As long as I'm unrealistically optimistic, I'm happy. Then something goes wrong and I get a more clear picture of what the real situation is and I get down and depressed. Round and round we go. It obviously affects my productivity and that makes me even more bummed. I'm not funny or clever

It goes from there to wondering about my self-worth and whether I worth it at all. I'm only ever worth as much as my last great thing. If I slump, the world is better off without me. That's the pattern. It also has a definite effect on my honesty. I start lying to myself early on in the game. Even when I see it, it doesn't stop me.

So I need to keep in mind. Winning is not the only thing, it is nothing. I've got to drop the winning drive. It's self-destructive. I need to be workmanlike for its own sake. Don't write for the approval of others, write because it's what I do now. That's the way I need to think about it. It's what I do. If others like it, that's good too.

Now then. I need to catch up with the site.

• Find  a temporary theme to try out
• Switch to 2nd theme rename/delete skacero
• Download new copy Skacero
• Go back to it to see if mobile menu works.
• Change Page pictures to good pix
• re-organize the site to make it nicer and better.

More later